I'm in a polyamorous relationship with another man and a woman and we had decided to have a non-legally binding ceremony. We decided on a Carnival Cruise ceremony followed by a cruise. New Orleans port is same-sex friendly, and they offer ceremonial services that are not legally binding. We can also bring our own officiant. I thought they'd be poly-friendly, but I was told that since we are polyamorous, they could not accommodate us. Okay, fine. I told them we would just have a same-sex ceremony with my girlfriend and I instead, and my boyfriend and I can have a private ceremony separately. Even then, they couldn't accommodate us.
It's frustrating. Is there any place to find poly friendly venues for ceremonies? I'm a bit heartbroken atm and am worried we won't be able to have any ceremony at all.
Weddings don't all look alike, as we know — and polyamorous ceremonies can be even more varied! Here are a few of the strucutres of the real-life poly weddings we've featured in our archives since 2008:
Three (or more) single individuals may want to have a ceremony combining their lives into one, as you do.
A married couple may want to bring another couple or another person into their family with a ceremony.
One member of a committed, unmarried couple may marry a third member of the throuple.
One member of a married couple may want to have a handfasting ceremony with another person, who will join the original couple.
Selecting a venue for your poly wedding may depend on how many people are involved in the ceremony, and what kind of ceremony it is… But this much is clear: you should be able to have your ceremony. A survey of polyamorous individuals found that 60% would want to marry multiple people if polyamorous marriages were legal. A Utah Senate committee recently approved a bill to decriminalize polygamy.
In the same way that non-legally binding LGBT weddings happened before marriage equality became legal, symbolic ceremonies give poly folks a starting point, even when the laws may not quite be there.
Cruise ships may not welcome polyamorous weddings, but here are some other options that Offbeat Bride poly folks have used in the past. (Click through the links to see the examples!)
Is your wedding venue open to polyamorous ceremonies? Ask ahead, and give them some time to figure it out. Think about it. Your prospective wedding venue is staffed with people who talk about rules and regulations all the time. They are confident that you can throw birdseed but not sequins, and that alcohol cannot be brought into the venue. They might have dozens of rules memorized, and they could spend a fair percentage of their time insisting on those rules.
Chances are they've never thought about a throuple or a quad. In fact, it's very likely that all the rules they know and are called upon to defend have to do with the property, catering, and times of arrival and departure. Maybe there are a few things about safety on the list. Nothing to do with brides and grooms.
So they may respond with firmness — maybe a firm no, since that's how rules often sound — even if they don't know any rules on the subject.
On the other side, you probably think it's none of their damn business, and you might not have been planning to mention this special feature of your wedding.
This is not a conversation you want to have as you set up your candy buffet. Consider saying, "We know this is unusual, and we'd like you to check with your manager before we discuss this."
If you still hear a no, call the next venue on your list. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Here’s a million dollar wedding planning word for 2020: contingency! From Sedona to Albuquerque…from less than 50 guests to just 5 people…Emy + Janssen conquered their contingency plans, and had a dreamy boho elopement in the Ojito Wilderness! Talk about romantic endurance!
We’ll let Emy address the STUNNING elephant in the room, and that’s her Princess Jasmine inspired bridal look: Most of the inspiration behind this day was from our original celestial elopement with bohemian elements, but we had to tweak it a bit to fit the desert landscape. Naturally, the dried florals were a perfect fit, and we were still able to incorporate some celestial elements. By the end of the night, largely due to the amazing Princess Jasmine inspired headpiece, Janssen came up with the theme: ‘Desert Nights.’
A pure mix of boho and rustic makes this styled wedding inspiration shoot one of our new favorites! From the photographer: This Moroccan music festival themed styled wedding is full of gorgeous boho details, a tipi and even a camel. The concept we dreamed up incorporated a bit of a music festival vibe along with an intimate lounge setting featuring bold Moroccan colors and textures inside a tipi. The location for the shoot is a private ranch in the small town of Sisters, OR with a camel lending to the Moroccan feel. The real life married couple fits the part, as he is a working musician and they have lived a somewhat Nomadic lifestyle, following the music and work around the Pacific Northwest. The vintage styling pieces help set the scene in the tipi, creating a space that feels warm and inviting, but very much bohemian. Thanks to Erica Swantek Photography for sharing this styled shoot with us today.
Alluring, exotic, enchanting… People travel from every corner of the World to experience the magic of Ibiza. For Erica + Alberto, the journey was more than just a trip to a beautiful beach. They chose to promise forever on the rocky shores of Ibiza’s Es Vedra island. With MC2 Mon Amour there to take care of event design and planning, E + A were able to enjoy to most captivating Ibiza Elopement, complete with an ethereal gown, sunset views, boho flowers, and of course, a champagne toast! E + A’s photographer shares this about the location:
We just love a venue that has it all! The Villa Royale hotel was built in 1947 in the Coachella Valley, and has a colorful heritage + bright, bold designs. Some say, the man credited with writing “Rebel Without a Cause” did so at the 38-villa hideaway. We say, that’s amazing *AND* it’s clearly also the perfect setting for an intimate wedding with a touch of bohemian whimsy!
The team with Stylish Details Events used their magic to style this inspiration, all while letting the character of the hotel shine bright. It’s easy to get lost in the blush color tones + varying floral textures…but also just the artistic beauty of this historic den in the desert.